Audiophile

If I only had words to describe how much I HATE audiophiles. Lets go to the run down list first off...

Reason 10. Their all a bunch of old men! Im not sure if any of you know any old people but chances are they cant hear for shit. Is it some kind of point you are trying to prove? That your not old? If your going to pretend your not old BUY A SPORTS CAR! Don't be a prick about "audio quality" because your old.

Reason 9: They look like that guy up there.... yes all of them do. 

Reason 8: Classical music is for wasps and 14th century nobel men. None of your are 14th century nobel men so why would you want people to think you have a stick up your ass? Would you want to show a girl you were trying to pick up (keep in mind these are all old men) your I wear a powdered wig collection or look Im still young and listen to rock collection??? So by being a "audiophile" your telling people your a old fart and fucking up the image you wanted to have in the first place... 

Reason 7: They are fucking stupid for the most part. Here is a question I hear quite often ... you might want to sit down for this one. "Where is the play button...."       Anger doesn't even account for how I feel when someone asks me that. I just feel dead....

Reason 6: Shouldn't there be a better hobbie then this?!? Last time I checked sound quality doesn't get you laid guys. If you need help with that I suggest you read number 10 again.. SPORTS CAR!!!

Reason 5: The money they drop on this is .... well... just wrong. Would you pay 3 grand for a cd player? NO, because you have half a brain... or at least Im assuming you do. Once again spend your money on something worth a shit. LIKE A SPORTS CAR!!

Reason 4: I cant tell the difference between FLAC and WAV. Can you??? NO!!!! NO ONE CAN!!

Unless you have super hearing, which we have already established that they are half deaf, so NO they dont.

Reason 3: Bad taste in music... awful. ABBA, REM and 10,00 maniacs in every collection. I dont care how much money you spend, nothing is going to make ABBA sound good. I would rather take a prison shower then listen to a ABBA album. Its the same thing a playing ABBA on a 10.000 dollar system. Your still getting raped but not just in the ass but in the ears and your wallet. I guess if your old, and man and not into pick up girls in your SPORTS CAR then this might be what your into.

Reason 2: Its sounds like pedophile or necro-phile or any other phile that would classify you as a sicko. Then again you would have to be kinda out of your fucking mind to even touch a ABBA cd much less listen to one. 

Reason 1: THEY ARE ALL FLITH FUCKING RICH.   These people have so much money that they buy things without thinking. Some working for the government, or they are doctors or they practice Law.... where is the play button???    NO WONDER WE ARE FALLING APART AS A COUNTRY. Right there is the reason!!!! Where is the Play button? That should be are new catch phrase as a country. The United States of America.... wheres the play button!!!!!!!!!

So in conclusion Audiophiles should do this to redeem themselves in my eyes 

  -Buy a Sports car

  -Throw away your ABBA cd's 

  -Go to best buy and look at a CD player... Map out the buttons... Ask a employ if you need help

  - And I would say don't have any kids but you have taken care of that for me since none of you will take my advice....   So in a weird way I HAVE BEATEN YOU!!!!

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I know i said i was going to do rich people food but these guys had to be dealt with today. More to come...