James Woods killing vampires.... awesome. This movie is pretty sweet for what it is. Blood, guts and people get there heads cut off in fun ways. The thing I love about this movie is it doesn't suffer from the "gay vampire illness". No Edward being in love, no 18th century bullshit and no ...ughh... vampire rock stars..... fucking queen of the damned. Of corse there are things that bothered me about this movie so here we go
First off, why does everyone look stoned when they are becoming a vampire. Is the vampire gene THC? I wanted to see violent transformations but what i got was "help Im becoming a pothead." One of the girls "slaying" with the group is a hooker that has bitten by a vampire. They take her with them so they can have a telepathic link with the master vampire because she was bitten by him... Ok, kinda of a stretch but overall im glad they did take her with them. Daniel Baldwin is also in this movie and at random time he just hits the hooker and thats not really the odd part about this. Right after he hits her and calls her something like " fucking vampire bitch,'" he starts making out with her. I don't know about you but Daniel Baldwin creeps me right the fuck out. WHO DOES THAT?!?! Then after he hits her she bites him!! This happens like 5 times and on the last time it looks like he is getting off on it! Anyways the reason im talking about count hooker is because the whole time she is "turning" see looks like she just escaped from rehab. Bitch didn't look like a vampire to me! She looked like a heroin addict. Maybe Daniel and James are confused... Maybe they are going around killing drug addicts and just calling them vampires.... I would still pay to see it.
Why do all master vampires have to look like a gay hair dresser with fangs? Thats not scary... its gay. Ruffles and the living dead should no long mix damn it. I wish someone would make a vampire movie that didn't have the Dracula cookie cutter bad guy. I feel like im watching that same movie over and over. Now this movie still keeps the master vampire in check with his brutality but I still wish they would of done more with him. The rest of the vampires are normal blood sucking abominations so I guess one out of like 50 isn't that bad. I will say this is better then when they try to give them a modern touch. I never want to hear a vampire say "cool man" or " I hella heart blood".. Just like I never wanted to hear Optimus Prime say "my bad". Anytime I hear a creature of ancient evil or a robot from a different planet using slang I WANT TO DIE. John Carpenter should just take "the thing" and put that in a different movie every year. How sweet would a "the thing" romantic comedy be?
Not a bad watch if you want to see alot of people die in a short amount of time. The blood work is good and the script is also not bad. John Carpenter did all of the music for the movie and well... it sucks. Almost ruins the blood shed but just tune it out and its not a big deal
On my scale I give it 4 dragons
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