Leprechaun

There is nothing funny about irish people... ok everything about irish people is kinda funny. Between kissing rocks and running away from banshees its hard for me to take St. Patrick's Day for more then a excuse to drink green beer and pinch random people. In theory this sounds like a great Idea but when I think about drunk red heads pinching me due to my choice of fashion I feel very... wrong. So in honor of Ginger Pinch Feast 2009 I watched Leprechaun! I have to tell you, THIS MOVIE SUCKED ASS!!! Of all the ridiculous horror movie idea's this one is the worse. Im not even going to get into the sequels in which the small green man goes on a rampage through "da hood". If you were going to make a "irish theme" horror flick why not do one about some fucking scary? Like a Banshees? How about a  goblin? A guy in a white sheet with "BOO" written on it would of been better then a green midget!!! This is just the basic idea of the movie too. I haven't even started talking about the movie its self.

The really scary thing about this movie is it was Jennifer Aniston spring board into the film world. So great... we have leprechaun to thank for "friends", "the break up", "along came polly" and every other abomination she has been in.  So the highlight of this is its a horror movie... which means there is a small chance she will die. IF this was a respectable horror movie she would BUT since this is leprechaun of corse she lives. Matter of fact this movie has a rather low death toll for a horror movie. I think only like 3 people die and one was retarded. So thats just great. No Aniston death, no real horror and irish folk lore killing slow people. Why did I watch this again? 

So here is the reason why the leprechaun is killing people... because they took his gold. Ok I guess I could see that. Even irish midgets have to keep check on there money right? This would be the case and I wouldn't of thought twice about if the little bastard didn't LEAVE HIS MONEY OUT SIDE BY RAINBOWS! Of corse people are going to take your money then man! If you leave you gold by a naturally occurring wonder then you have no right to get mad if some one comes along and takes it. You don't see me leaving my bank card by waterfalls! Why?!? Because its stupid! Sure other people are known to leave their treasure in random places ... like pirates! But at least they have the brain mass equal to a dog that would tell them to bury it! Even then its a inconvenience to have to dig it back up when rent is due on your pirate house. I guess the moral of this movie would be your money is best kept in a wallet to avoid having to kill people and to stop a 2nd Jennifer Aniston Spring board. 

So how do you end a movie this great? Well it turns out you can kill a Leprechaun with a four leaf clover! Where did they find that out at? From a old senile guy at the local nursing home. I guess the writers just gave up at this point or they were fired and replaced by a raccoon that juggles. Why a raccoon that juggles? Why the hell not. Its already a movie about midgets who have issue's with leaving money outside that can only be killed by foliage. At this point anything you throw at me as the person watching this movie is acceptable. So they kill Leprechaun and they go back to doing whatever...

So this movie is a big waste of time. So if you have a friend who is Irish and you want to make them feel good about their roots have them watch this gem. But make sure to do it in a place that they cant escape. A airplane would be ideal but stuck in a hotel room on the road is also a good choice. 

On my scale I give it 5 warlocks...